Final score from the DSB Stadium:

AZ 2 (Arveladze 14, Koevermans 56) – Newcastle United 0
(AZ are through on away goals)

For anyone that actually reads the drivel and nonsense posted on this website, you’ll have noticed that we haven’t updated the page since the Thursday night horror show in Holland.

To be perfectly honest we weren’t in the mood for too much - least of all writing about Newcastle’s latest comedy act.

Nobody died. We lost a football match on Thursday (2-0 to AZ Alkmaar for those that have been inside a box for the last 48 hours) and went out of the UEFA Cup and kissed any chance of silverware goodbye for another season yet again.

Maybe I’m getting old(er) and have seen this happen to Newcastle too many times and I’m becoming immune from the endless pain that they constantly throw our way, but I was almost expecting a 2-0 loss and in some perverse way I’d prepared myself for it.

The ToonArmyUSA message boards, of course, have been ‘white hot’ for the last 2 days, with all the doom and gloom merchants (that only post when we are in a ‘crisis’) coming out of the woodwork to offer up their opinions.

Still – we are all entitled to an opinion. Right?

I think it goes without saying that we are all extremely miffed about going out of Europe, despite holding a three goal lead (twice) in the first leg and a lot of us have called Roeder’s tactics into question for the AZ game – maybe rightly so.

The fact that Roeder was forced to bring in Huntington (at the last minute) was unfortunate, with Carr bottling it once again. When you need big performances from your seasoned pro’s this is what you get at Newcastle….under performing, over-paid miscreants like Carr and Babayaro rolling over and dying in the heat of the battle.

The more extreme suggestions this week have called for Roeder to be relieved of the helm at SJP. But in reality, after the pain of Thursday night has subsided, what would this achieve at this stage of the season?

We aren’t defending Roeder – he’ll no doubt be gone before much longer – but lets try to do this properly and with some dignity, finding the right person to take us forward. Not like on previous occasions where we wash all our dirty linen in public, hanging it all out to dry for the tabloids and internet scribes to drool over.

Despite recent events, we will be willing the lads on this Sunday (from 3,000+ miles away) with business as usual for us. Charlton are desperate for points and we’ll need some big performances from our lot – thankfully Carr will be missing and Onyewu returns.

Newcastle will also be without Butt who serves a ban after picking up too many yellow cards. This will probably mean a central midfield birth for Dyer (his best position).

Possible line-up:: Given, Solano, Taylor, Gooch, Bramble, Parker, Duff, Dyer, Milner, Martins, Sibierski

Don't forget to enter your predictions!

Lads and lasses - it's that time of year again when the Geordie faithful get together to cheer their team on in style. Next month on April 14thwe will be meeting at Nevada Smiths in New York City to all watch the Portsmouth (away) game. For those interested in more information about this event, please click here.

Bums on seats?

March 12th 2007

While most of ToonArmyUSA were enjoying the FA Cup action this weekend, our resident writer Harry Spall was busy finding out why the demographics of football fans in England is changing and how to stop a penalty. To read his latest rant and more, visit his rants page here.

Newcastle Clog Four Past Van Gaals Boys

March 9th 2007

Final score from St. James Park:

Newcastle United 4 (og(Steinsson) 8, Dyer 22, Martins 23, 37) - AZ Alkmaar 2 (Arveladze 31, Koevermans 73)

Hand-balls, penalties, own-goals and stunning strikes from the Toon…..just a typical European night of football at SJP really.

This game seemed to have everything and yet we still now need to go over to Holland and work hard (because it’s not over by any means) and looking from a slightly negative point of view a 2-0 win from AZ Alkmaar at their place next week will see us go out on away goals.

Just over half an hour in and we were 3-0 up and cruising, after early goals from Steinsson (og), Dyer and Martins and we looked like a certainty to get into the quarter-finals at this stage.

However, we let AZ back into it when former Glasgow Rangers man Shota Arveladze pulled one back for AZ to make it 3-1.

But when Martins scored his second of the night with a stunning goal after some tremendous build up play by Dyer and Solano, Newcastle went back into the driving seat in the tie and it remained 4-1 at half-time.

However, the second half saw Taylor handball and the referee award a penalty that was a harsh call by all accounts and we now face a nervy second leg in Holland.

There were other good chances of adding to the scoreline and the introduction of Emre almost saw a fifth goal added. That said, a 4-2 score line is something that Roeder would probably have settled for before the game and it would be a royal disaster if we didn’t make it into the quarter-finals.

Howay The Lads

Hope springs eternal

March 7th 2007

Spring time in North America, and depending on your location, the snow storms are either picking up momentum or disappearing for the year. Dreams of summer holidays in the sun start to enter the mind.

Sadly, it seems our lads are in the same frame of mind with thoughts of a long, (and I’m sure they believe) well deserved summer off.

If we needed an example of this, look no further than the Boro game, where they had the chance to turn the wrongs witnessed at Wigan into a right against Middlesborough.

This transformation didn’t materialize and even though Boro had absolutely no intention whatsoever to win the game, we just didn’t care enough to make the difference in a drab goalless game.

So - does it matter at this stage in the season if we obtain 1 point or 3? Why should the lads push for (at most likely) an Intertoto Cup spot when all it means is they have to turn up for training a month earlier than usual?

We aren’t exactly amazed that the season has turned out like it has, let’s be honest, it’s all been a bit similar of late hasn’t it?

Ever since Bobby Robson was pushed out the door, we’ve had three very average seasons – one and a half under Souness, who practically no one liked and was useless from day one, and almost one and a half years under Roeder – who everyone likes but doesn’t really seem to have the skill and knowledge to be effective at his job.

Over the last three seasons we’ve done okay in the cups without ever being in danger of winning them and been very, very average in the league. Granted, this year we were unlucky to be knocked out the Carling Cup, very much deserved to be put out the FA Cup, and such is the poor quality of UEFA Cup opponents, I’m pretty sure my 5-a-side team could at LEAST get into the last 16.

By the time we turn up for our next Premiership game (Charlton away on March 18th) our season could be over as AZ Akmaar, who may not be well known, but are managed by one of the best gaffers in the game (Louis Van Gaal) and have lost only THREE games all season. Incidentally, AZ crushed Utrecht 4-0 away in their last League game.

So then what do we have to look forward to? Perhaps the odd win here and there, the glimpse of Owen or Ameobi in a black and white shirt (with no doubt the former playing plenty for England over the summer) and the opportunity to perhaps finish in the top half.

Looking on the bright side, Jet Blue have canny deals from Boston to the Bahamas.

$10 Sparky vs $10 Million Luque

March 5th 2007

Local Jarrow Lad Lee “Sparky” Kerr, the 19 year old Whitley Bay striker, was given the opportunity to show some Viking spirit alongside the ten million pound Olive muncher (Albert Luque) against Bolton Reserves last night on a typically windswept evening at Kingston Park.

Sparky had been given the strikers role from Lee Clark as part of his, so far impressive, short term trial with the Magpies. Kerr, not long back from a loan spell with League Two side Stockport County was keen to impress. Hopefully adding to the 20 goals he’s scored so far this season for the Bay. Meanwhile Albert was trying to get his “Culo” back into 1st team contention (it would probably need at least a hat-trick from the “Mierda” Spaniard).

Unfortunately for both, the 0-0 scoreline tells the tale. Sparky showed the most, with 3 solid chances in the 1st half. The Spaniard left at half time (replaced by Andy Carroll), probably to go count his wage packet! Sparky again has a good chance late on, with an impressive overhead kick that was saved by Ian Walker.

Let’s hope the “Jarra March” continues…….best of luck Sparky……head up and think big lad.

The Fellgate Scribbler

What's the point?

March 3rd 2007

Final score from St. James Park:

Newcastle United 0 – 0 Middlesbrough

Garbage - best way to describe the game today.

Despite having 6 midfielders on the pitch, we could hardly string a pass together or get a cross in the box. When we did there was no one there to connect. Roeder then decided to take off the only player who was trying to cross with the player who could get on the end of them (Sibierski for Milner).

N’Zogbia was awful, Butt and Parker inefficient and Dyer and Martins showed glimpses but ultimately failed to deliver.

Boro on the other hand didn’t want to do anything but keep a clean sheet – and they did exactly that.

Season over in March? Looks like it…