Karelse – made 2 or 3 fine stops in the first half from point blank range to calm the jitters evident in the side.

Charvet – pretty ineffective to start with, but started getting up field well in the second half and was floating in front of goal as a kind of spare forward before he was subbed.

Serrant – excellent display (really!). Cut out most of the danger down our left and constantly tracked back and made himself available on the counter. One of 3 players to take corners and put in some canny crosses and even found time to sell a few dummies to his marker (he warranted one after a bit). One swallow etc, but very encouraging.

Kerr – at times seemed to be playing a bit deep, and needs to develop finishing to match his wonderful close control, but acquitted himself well in a more central role.

Stephen Caldwell – playing as skipper (since Arnison moved on) and mostly coped well.

Gary Caldwell – got forward more than his brother, but also handled the ball in the box to allow Boro to get the lead at the start from the spot.

Gavilan – superb. Delightful display. He runs like the wind, goes round his man, crosses with accuracy, amazing tricks on the ball, tackles back when he loses the ball (seldom), catches the eye of his teammates when he moves into space, passes sublimely under pressure, stays on his feet whilst being yanked about by Smoggie twats and forced 3 great saves from Marlon Beresford. Thoroughly deserved a massive ovation from everyone when subbed.

McClen – Argh! Sometimes so wonderful, sometimes so pants. Wouldn’t want to stifle his self-expression, because when it goes for him he’s very very good, but when it doesn’t he’s a liability. Still has the dreadful habit of getting cock-a-whoop when he pulls off a bit of sleight of foot and overdoes it the next time and gives away possession.

Coppinger – As soon as they stopped hoofing the ball into the box but passed it at feet, Coppy stroked the ball past Beresford. Still too slight to make it in the Prem but utterly worth hanging onto for the player he will be next season. So much of our good play came through Coppy that his class cannot be ignored.

Ameobi – still skinny and lanky, but has been put on a weights course by the looks of things and has been taught to put himself about and get up to head the ball. Very fast and a great fighter with a very direct approach. Lashed in a scorcher tonight.

Glass – what’s happened to Stephen Glass? He seems to have lost his confidence. Some of his long passes were bad enough to have been made by Gary Speed. He is really being helped by the team spirit, mind, because not once did any of his teammates whinge and whine about his misplaced efforts, in stark contrast to how it was when Maric, Andersson, Pearce and Barnes used to be taking up space.

Hamilton – on as sub. Ran around a lot but failed to make the fresh legs count.

McGuffie – plaed as right fullback. Floppy blonde hair and rangy figure reminded me horribly of Andreas Andersson and I was stuck in this terrible Nam veteran style flashback so couldn’t really judge him.

The highlights were the tempo it was played at and the amazingly slick interpassing which set up 8 or 9 attempts on goal for us in the second half. The final pass was often lacking and some of the shooting wasn’t perfect, but Beresford kept his hands warm with several excellent saves. Phil Stamp has decided that being one of the ugliest men in the world isn’t enough for him, so he’s decided to start carrying around a few extra stone as well; he’s basically the fat, ginger bully we all had at school now.

After their dodgy penalty we had a heart-stopping moment at the other end when some great one-twos between Gavilan and Kerr ended up with the ball sliding through to Coppinger. Critics would say he trod on the ball, but the true connoisseurs (grin) of the game recognised that he was cunningly drawing the keeper before trickling it past him on the second attempt only to see it cruelly rebound off the post.

Ameobi’s second half goal was pure venom. He had been repeatedly fouled by the dirty smoggies (who will finish second bottom to the mackems in the fair play league) and as he received the ball from Glass had to watch as the Scot was almost cut in two by Stamp and Stockdale. In typical cheating fashion the Smoggies feigned injury after seeing the ref reach for his pocket before they started writhing in ‘agony’, and the disgusted Ameobi put his head down and powered towards the goal before unleashing a blockbuster. He openly sneered and shook his fist at the Gwyneth Paltrow Appreciation Society in celebration and the ref indicated the goal and waved the liars to their feet.

Despite all the missed opportunities, the understanding between what seemed like our front five was a delight. The oohs and aahs from those of us behind the smoggie goal were more like Bonfire Night than a football match and you could tell that it really mattered to the players how they got on. Gavilan was a firm favourite with everybody by the end of the game and I will be speechless if he doesn’t make the bench on Wednesday or Saturday. Going to Paraguay for a youngster is fully understandable when he’s this much more talented than the homegrown variety.